one two three fourrrrnication!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
