The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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