For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
