I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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