All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
