Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have so many feelings about this burrito
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
