This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
