Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
