if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
