so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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