return my video game
i permit you to call me
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
