how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
