if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
