I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
