I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
