I'm drive I can fine osifer
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
