If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
