I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
