I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
