woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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