just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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