you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
