So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
