Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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