So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
