Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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