About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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