ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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