No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
