it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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