I am puke
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
