Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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