Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
