We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
