is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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