I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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