he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
