Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
