So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
