Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
