hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
