I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
