I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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