I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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