No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
