I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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