Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
