Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
