Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My life is pants optional.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
