the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
