i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Never joke about your clitoris.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
