yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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